Time to Reflect - A Silver Lining to Social Distancing

AJ

Pennsylvania

Student

Golub

March-May 2020

During the normalcy that has swiftly blurred into an increasingly foreign, pre-pandemic past, my daily life was one of near-constant movement. My mornings would inevitably begin in an unnecessary rush to accommodate a few extra moments of sleep as I crammed into 30 minutes that which would have better fit into an hour. In the brink of time, I would hastily flee my dorm room towards my first class. This was followed by a break just long enough to send some emails and complete any remaining homework before a second class, lunch, a series of meetings, more homework, dinner, a bit of time for some exercise, and a final few, unintruded moments to breathe before falling into bed in anticipation of an even more busy tomorrow. I do miss those times, busy as they were; one needs a consistent purpose to be truly fulfilled. However, in the midst of what has been, for me, a paradoxically calm form of present chaos, much of my time, previously demanded by the frantic tolling of my calendar, is now dedicated to, well, nothing. Where I previously had to find my way across Union's campus in a time seemingly incompatible with the laws of nature, I now merely have to venture to the neighboring room of my house. When I previously had days filled with meetings, meals, and events, I now have an occasional virtual call. What had filled my time has suddenly vanished as quickly as the world has changed. There will be consequences, of that I'm sure; and I doubt we fully know what they might entail. But, for now, at least, I am finding some enjoyment and bizarre peace in the silent solitude of confinement. I once had time only for what came next, giving myself little latitude to inquire as to why that specifically must come next. I had a direction in my life, one I knew to be true, but I didn't know why it was so. In this time of lockdown, as the world was quiet, I began to ask myself about me, questions I could ill-afford to spare the time for in the past. My pandemic-enforced isolation has brought about an unforeseen benefit, time to reflect on myself, to be intentionally introspective. Through many nightly walks, I've learned more about myself in two months than I had in, perhaps, the prior two decades. Thus, when we do emerge from our corners of the world, I shall do so with a renewed sense of self and a more assured purpose; a silver lining I've discovered to bring some fleeting comfort amongst the current, pervading chaos.